I’m Pissed Off at the Open…

by crossfitmomm, posted in CrossFit Open

18.4 was a doozy:  Diane (21-15-9 reps of deadlifts at 155 lbs and then handstand push ups) followed by heavy deadlifts followed by handstand walks–all with a 9 minute timecap.Image result for athletes moments of defeat or disappointment

So I correctly predicted handstand walks would show up in the Open.  I’m excited about that.

However, what I didn’t anticipate was not even getting to them.  I didn’t finish the 15 handstand push-ups.  With the new standards and my wrist and my lack of strength I just didn’t have it in me.

I was pissed off.  I thought I was stronger than that.  I breezed through the deadlifts.

One of the best things the Open does is show you your weaknesses.  I now know handstand push ups is one of these for me when I thought I was pretty good at them.  Something else to work on.

So why am I pissed off?

18.3 I was stuck at the ring muscles ups.  For 10 minutes.  18.4 I got stuck at the handstand push ups.  And I only had 9 minutes to do it in.

And I’m not your average CrossFitter.

Most CrossFitters can’t do ring muscle-ups (less than 10% of CrossFitters can).  Most CrossFitters can’t do handstand walks (even a smaller percentage than 10%).  So why is Dave Castro programming these in?

I get extremely frustrated when I can’t do something, and I can tell you right now this will be the last year I won’t be able to because I’m gonna bust my ass this next year to get these moves down and grow stronger.

But that doesn’t erase my frustrations right now in this moment for this year.

I want to do good.  I want to be the best.  I want to win.

It’s hard to do that with these workouts.

None have played to my strengths except 18.1 where I did do really well.

I’m on a rant, I know…

For me, I need to crush a workout.  We all do.  I need 18.5 to be one I can crush.  I’m doubtful it will be…

Hence, I’m just pissed off…

I’ve spent an entire year training for one event that has left me feeling inadequate, angry, frustrated, and that I’ve wasted a whole year of my life.  Hours and hours and hours…for what?

I’m frankly depressed and ready for the Open to be over, so I can get back to training.

Am I the only one feeling this way?

7 thoughts on “I’m Pissed Off at the Open…”

  2. Although I hate losing, I love the fact that the open has really opened my eyes to what I struggle with. I thought I would be able to get through the handstand push-ups and at least complete Diane, but how wrong was I?

    I managed to smoke through the first set of deadlifts, and then came the handstand push-ups. I managed 4 for the entire workout which meant I couldn’t smoke another 15 and 9 deadlifts before finishing with the final handstand push-ups.

    It frustrated the hell out of me during the workout but having everyone around me shouting at me to get that 4th rep was incredible. And slowly pushing myself towards the top from the bottom really showed just how dedicated I can be to get to the top.

    I will now be focusing on getting my handstand push-ups perfected which in turn should increase my arm strength for other movements that I’m okay with.

    You didn’t fail because you struggled and couldn’t finish, you passed because you pushed yourself to your absolute limit and you tried harder then you thought you would need to.

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    1. Thanks, Michael. I just thought I was stronger than that. Yes, that’s why I love the Open as well. But this year with all the advanced movements, it leaves me feeling like I’m still not good enough…

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  3. Sorry it didn’t go well for you. But Paul,in I think Corinthians tells us to forget those things that are past and keep pressing toward the goal, always making sure it is a goal worthy of your time. This is my paraphrase. I hope it goes better for you next time around. Thanks for following my blog. I hope it brings you some encouragement.

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  4. Sorry you struggled so. It’s unfortunate that skills were requested that, as you mentioned, are skills most can’t do. Your inner strength, courage and persistence shine through.

    Thanks for following my blog.

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  5. I totally understand how you feel, I’ve been the same. What I’ve taken away from the open is to work harder on my weaknesses, which is gymnastics. Also to use my frustration to drive my to beat this years score.. you will only get better each time you do it. Well done & good luck with your training 💪🏽

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