Today I was called a spirit animal in CrossFit.
This is the second time I’ve heard this in recent months.
It’s strange because I’ve often felt like I don’t belong anywhere I go. Mainly because I don’t make the effort. For the most part, I don’t care what others think of me. I don’t make an effort to be friends with others. Frankly, I do my own thing.
Like today. I did my own WOD — changed it to what I needed it to be. Perhaps this is why I was called a spirit animal.
Yet, I feel like this attitude hurts me — especially when it comes to CrossFit competitions. I’ve never been asked to be someone else’s partner. This sucks. I’ve probably done a dozen CrossFit competitions with people I don’t know. Some of the other CrossFit competitions I have started to drag my daughter along to be my partner.
Even the current CrossFit box I’m a member of won’t ask me to do a CrossFit competition. And when I try to find partners, I feel like I beg and plead, or I’m flat out turned down and told to “fuck off.” Usually, this doesn’t bother me, but the last time I got turned down, I have to admit it hurt.
Let’s face it, all CrossFit competitions are dopey. They are just a bunch of workouts thrown together that you do — which truly don’t matter. What matters is who you do them with.
The last CrossFit competition I got turned down when I asked was by a friend of mine. I’ve asked him several times to do a CrossFit competition with me. He has said no each time. Usually, I let it go. But this time, I’m finding it incredibly difficult to do so.
I asked him why, and all I got was a lame excuse. I think he thinks that I suck. Fair enough. But just tell me that. Yes, I was hurt (and truth be told, I still am), but I still want to do a CrossFit competition with him — one day.
I don’t know why I’m wasting my time lamenting. Nothing will change (does it ever?), so what’s the point?