Holding Back…

My hand feels good.  Really good.  To the point I want to be all in again.

I have to tell myself, Not yet.  Hold back.  A few more days.

In the grand scheme of things, a few more days is not that long.  We sleep a bit of it away.  We work some of it.  We spend the rest of the time eating, reading, blogging (of course!), and spending time with our family and doing things together.

Training is just a small part of my life.

Next week, I will probably be 90% in.  I don’t want to lift too heavy right off the bat.  That time will come.  And sooner than my mind tells me.

So like a racehorse who finishes strong, hold back.  The end game is what matters.


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What is Your Buy-in?

My nutrition course asked me this, and this is powerful.Image result for why

What is my buy-in?  Why do I want to look the way I’ve always wanted (with abs showing)?  What are my ultimate fitness goals?  Why do I want to reach them?

For long term success, you need to know why you’re doing this.

A couple of weeks ago, I had no answers, and they would have been different.

Now, it’s a whole different game.

The reason I want to have abs I can see is I want to prove to myself:

1) I can do it.

2) I can sustain it.

3) I have a long-term relationship with food I can sustain.

The reason I want to be among the top is:

1)  I don’t ever want to have a movement show up in the Open or in competitions that I can’t do.

2)  To satisfy the drive within that won’t stop no matter what.

3)  I want to conquer this sport.  Period.

My buy in is I want to be the best at my passion.  Who doesn’t?

Injuries and Adversities Make You More Determined to Overcome…

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Before I hurt my wrist, I was going along, happily merry and content.

After I hurt my wrist, I realized I had become a bit complacent.

Injuries make you stop and reflect on what’s happening around you.  You have more time to think about what’s important to you in this world and what your goals are moving forward.

For me, March will be a month of healing.

April and May will be months of hard work to get the two skills I lack:  ring muscle ups and handstand walks.

This summer will be all technique work and strength building.

The fall:  putting it all together.

Winter:  Staying healthy for the Open.

Because my new goal is this:  be in the top 20 in my region in the CrossFit Open next year.  Will I ever make it to Regionals?  Probably not.  Once you’re masters, it’s a worldwide competition.  But I want to be the best ranking in something so I chose this instead.

Getting clear on goals gives you something to live for.  Otherwise, you are floating passively through life, letting life happen to you instead of you happening to life.  And if you’re not careful, you’ll wake up one day and you’re fifty and you’ll wonder where all your time went.

We all hear this so many times we tend to ignore it.  DON’T IGNORE THIS!  We all know someone who died too soon or who didn’t accomplish their mission here on earth or who is just going through the motions.  Don’t be that person!  Start now!

Am I Intimidating?

As you may recall, I posted recently about my troubles of finding CrossFit partners for competitions.

Upon mentioning this to Alex, one of my coaches, he said some might be intimidated by me.

I shrugged it off…until now…

I don’t think of myself in this way. I’m pretty down to earth. Granted, I’m opinionated. Strong-willed. Determined. Forthwith. I cuss. A lot.

I know women with muscles can be intimidating. But this is the CrossFit world. We all have muscles.

So I’m unsure. In my box, there’s no one really who wants to compete. That leaves me with other boxes which I just don’t know anyone. And doing competitions with people you don’t know has its challenges.  You don’t know their strengths and weaknesses and vice versa.

One friend of mine suggested I start a website with a vetting system to match people who want to do competitions.  Good idea, but that takes some of the fun out of doing these with people you know.

For now, I’m stuck begging and pleading…

Upon posing this question to my family, I got a resounding yes.  My husband said all of his co-workers are scared of me (he likes to tell fanciful tales of me however).

I am who I am.  That’s that…

“I Want Your Legs.”

This is what my waxing gal said to me.

I showed up right before CrossFit Open Workout 18.3 so I was in my standard CrossFit gear:  NikePro shorts, tank top, sports bra.  What I don’t normally wear out in public but if you read my post from a few days ago, I was too lazy to change and re-change.

She asked me what I did.Jingle 9


“Oh.  How long?”

“Almost 2 1/2 years now.”

“Oh.  That explains it.”

Then we dived into a conversation on diet as she asked me what I ate.

This isn’t the first time I’ve gotten this compliment.  Or similar ones related to my arms.

It’s nice to hear.  It validates all the hard work.  For the most part.

As a woman in today’s society, there’s always insecurities surrounding your body.  Always.  Men just don’t understand this because they aren’t judged based on appearance like women are.

There will always be doubts, insecurities, feelings of inadequacy related to our bodies, and judgments both by ourselves and by others–probably for a lifetime.  It’s sad, but a part of the modern world.  One can either lament this fact or accept it and move forward.

For me, it’s gotten better as I’ve aged, but not entirely especially since my body has done a huge transformation since I started CrossFit.  Few are the days where I am 100% satisfied with how I look.  Internal battles simmer beneath the surface almost daily with regards to body image.

I’m currently in a battle of finding the right meal plan and proportions for the rest of my life that will fuel my very active lifestyle without unnecessary weight gain.  I’m enrolled in a nutrition course, and I’m devouring books on the subject.  It’s a part of my life I hope to have figured out soon, so I can quit thinking about it.  Still, being surrounded by candy almost non-stop in this consumer age (it seems we jump from one candy holiday to another these days) and other goodies (I do have kids, ya know) makes it extremely difficult to stick to your guns.

Ah, the beauty of life….

We have choices.  Sometimes too many.

But the choice to follow my passion (CrossFit) and fight through where that leads me (injuries, nutrition/fueling the body challenges, and a changing body image) is one I’ll never regret.

Taming the Competitor Within…

Just one more rep.  That’s all I need.  I can do this…

I’ve made the decision to NOT re-do CrossFit Open Workout 18.3 although I’m super close to a ring muscle up.


Because of my wrist.

18.3 was harder on it than I thought it would be.  It had only been five days, and I pushed it hard.  I had to break up the overhead squats (something I normally wouldn’t do) and the muscle ups attempts took their toll.

Still, the recording of wanting to do my best is playing over and over again in my mind.  I can’t shut it off.  It’s annoying as hell.

There’s no peace within and it’s a battle for sure.

Still, I don’t want to risk being out longer than what I am for one stupid rep that means nothing to no one but myself.

I know I’ll have ring muscle ups by the end of May.  Because once my wrist is healed I’ll be at it virtually every day (given the state of my hands) until I have it.

Same with handstand walks.

I’ll have them consistently by the end of May because it will be a daily workout for me.

Breaks are good.  Giving injuries the time they need to heal is good.  Pushing when I don’t have to and possibly delaying my full return–not good.

This is all a mental game.  Your body will do whatever you ask of it (up to a certain point of course).  If I wanted to re-do this workout, my body would comply.  It wouldn’t refuse.

There is so much coming up in the months ahead that I can’t let this minor injury become something more.  Competitions, running 5k’s, meeting my skills goals of muscle ups and handstand walks, completing my list of having every move mastered so next year in the Open it won’t matter what Dave picks and I’ll crush every one has to stay in the forefront of my mind.

The big picture must prevail.

Those little steps have to happen in order to accomplish great things…

This is one of my favorite books and stories of all time.  I cry every time I watch this because it would be the hardest thing I’d have to do is let go…

Could This Be the First Year in CrossFit Open History with NO Repeat Workout?

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As I’m going through the Open workouts from last year, I realize something:  we’ve done a lot of these moves already this year so if Dave picks an Open workout from last year we’ll be repeating a move.  Double unders, bar muscle ups, toes to bar, dumbbell snatches, rowing.

This, of course, goes against the definition of CrossFit: constantly varied functional movements performed at high intensity.

That’s not to say we can’t repeat a move.

What haven’t we seen yet?  Box jumps, wall balls, deadlifts, and chest to bar pull ups.

Dave Castro always repeats an Open workout from the year before.  But what if he doesn’t this year?  That would be him:  always trying to stay unpredictable.

It’s a possibility I thought I’d throw out there.

Any thoughts on the matter?