Because I hit the scale every morning and depending on what it says, I let it influence my mood.
I’m writing this to convince myself it’s not about the number on the scale. It’s how I feel every moment of every day. How I treat my body. How I eat. How I workout. How I sleep. How I rest. How I live.
This is what matters.
It’s not about how I look in the mirror. Nor about how my clothes fit (because it’s hard to find clothes that fit me and look good on me unless it’s workout gear).
It’s all in the mind. It’s accepting me, and how God designed my body and being done with it. There’s no manipulation.
The only control is the day-to-day activities/fuel I do/feed myself.
These little decisions that add up in big ways.
It’s mental.
So stop playing the game society tells you to play.
“Just a warning my rig work is rough. Pull ups and Toes to Bar. Barbell I am decent but still only a couple of years in. Mostly doing comp for fun and friends are doing as well.”
This was a text I got from the guy I’m gonna partner with in an upcoming CrossFit competition in May. Here’s my response:
“No problem. We’re all a work in progress. I don’t have ring muscle ups yet. They are coming along. And going heavy is touch and go cause of how lean I am. We’ll hopefully have enough between us to give it a go!!”
Last night, I had ice cream, brownies, Bailey’s and Kahlua. I indulged big time. It was so good!
In the morning I felt bloated due to the extra water carbs cause your body to hold.
I told myself, “It’s alright, Jen. You’re a work in progress.”
This holds true for all aspects of your life.
Parenting. You’re doing the best you can.
Eating, dieting, nutrition. You’re doing the best you can.
Exercise and fitness. You’re doing the best you can.
Work and career. You’re doing the best you can.
Hobbies, religion, family, obligations, giving, helping others, voting, being a member of society, pets, animals, this planet, life.
You’re doing the best you can.
Give yourself a break.
You’re human. You have strengths and weaknesses. You succeed. You fail.
But there’s always tomorrow. Or this moment. To start over. To begin again. To do better. Be better. Live better.
Here’s to you: a work in progress. Not yet complete. But with each stroke more and more beautiful!
A few days ago, one of my friends proceeded to tell me that CrossFitters don’t look much different than others. This was based off the conversation that women don’t want to get big shoulders from doing CrossFit.
Well, I piped in. “Based off of my experience and comments made to me, I would highly disagree.”
I’m beginning to take more notice of people as well–mainly because I’m getting more stares than usual.
There aren’t that many people walking around who look like me.
This has been affirmed lately as I’ve been dressing up more than usual as the weather turns warmer and wearing more clothes that show my muscles.
I was having a different conversation, explaining my routine to two gals I just met, and I realized something: not many people lead the life I do or do what I do. The hours I spend that have given me this body I now inhabit are not how others spend their hours. The extra time I put in toward my goals. The work involved. The sacrifices (I’m thinking of chocolate cake right now…)
And that’s not just CrossFit.
I blog. A lot.
I work. A lot.
I read. A lot.
I’m constantly striving to be a better person, a better wife, a better mother, a better human being despite all my flaws. I’m constantly searching for what’s out there for me, what I’m supposed to be doing, what path is next. And I’m constantly learning. I despise sitting and boredom and monotony. Contentment is elusive. Accepting that this is all there is is not an option….
This thought came to mind as I was re-canting a recent job interview. It was with a very well known national company that embraced the “come as you are” theme. So I thought, “Perfect! I’ll fit in great here!”
But as I met the gals in my prospective department it became abundantly clear I would not. On the tour of the facility, no one else looked like me. I get it, I do. Not a lot of people do. And because of the sport I choose to do, I eat differently, live differently, do things differently.
Still…
It begged the question above: Just where do CrossFitters Fit in?
I don’t have an answer to that (so leave a comment if you do!). I’m still trying to figure it out myself.
I think that’s why I’m still searching in life. How am I supposed to spend my time and what am I supposed to be doing with the time I have left?
I now realize why a lot of people fail diets, exercise, New Year’s Resolutions, and any other challenge they face.
Because it’s hard work.
I keep a journal of what went well on that day, areas I can grow, and what I learned and this is what I learned yesterday.
I ate really well yesterday until dinner time. My husband cooked a really good dinner and I ate too much. But it was really good! Grilled chicken, sweet potatoes, garlic bread, and broccoli and cauliflower.
Today is a new day.
I get to start over!
Could you imagine if we didn’t have days and nights and we’d be stuck on the same day (If you lived on Venus, the day would last 5, 832 hours! That’s 243 Earth days!).
This is like everything in life.
If you fail (as we all do every day of our lives), you get to start over! Quite frequently in fact.
Try this next time you fail at a meal: start over on the next meal. It’s another opportunity to get it right. And if we get it right 80% of the time, we’ll still meet our goals. Don’t get frustrated and throw in the towel and proclaim, “Well, that didn’t work!” One step at a time. Always.
Try this with anything in life.
Failing is ok.
Quitting is not ok.
Learn from your mistakes and attack the next time with a vengeance!
The above image says it all: I love coffee. I CrossFit. I take naps.
I really have nothing to complain about in this world and about my life.
My husband works hard and pays the bills.
I work to pay for my CrossFit and kids’ activities.
I have the freedom to do what I want when I want (for the most part) since my job is mostly online.
If I want to go for a run, I do.
If I want to go for coffee, I do.
If I need to eat, I eat. If I need a break, I do laundry. If I want to read a book, I do.
I’m free to pick up the kids and run them wherever they need to be.
Occasionally, I do get a nap.
And I have God.
I lead a great life.
Sure, we could have more money in the bank. More money for retirement. I could have more of an idea how I want to spend the next 20 years. I could have a cleaner house (I spend too much time CrossFitting it seems). I could be earning more money since I have a master’s degree in Finance.
But I chose not to work on the weekends. Not to put my kids in daycare when they were babies and work a full-time job. Not to follow the crowd.
So I have no complaints.
Really.
None of us do if we live in the developed world. In the modern world really (toilets, anyone?)
Life is good, and I just need to remember that when the stupid little things in life threaten to change my mindset.
Hard to do every day tasks like laundry and dishes when you have to squat and all your legs want to do is shout at you.
Every day activities most do with ease become a challenge when you CrossFit as much as I do.
Yet, I’d have it no other way.
We are all products of our lifestyle whether we know it or not.
A friend of mine is overweight. She’s been 100 lbs overweight for over 10 years now. She keeps hopping from diet to diet, exclaiming how “this one is better” and “this one will work.”
I’ve told her my philosophy and all I’ve read about the Zone Diet and Mindless Eating. It goes in one ear and out the other.
Another friend of mine bemoans how she can’t lose 10 lbs. Yet her Facebook page is always covered with her out with her friends, drinking mimosas and eating probably more than is recommended. She works out, but hasn’t changed.
Same thing with her.
Wallball Fun!
My mom starves herself. Literally. She is one fall away from death. She can’t remember things because she doesn’t feed her brain. She smokes and has horrible migraines. In her mind though she’s healthy.
I can preach all I want, but you have to listen and want to change your lifestyle.
Then I think People can say the same thing about me. Complaining how I work out too much and I can’t move because I did 300 squats, etc.
Ultimately, it’s your life. You only have one to live. Be happy and content with it.
I know this is hard as I’m still trying to find my sweet spot to have the abs I want yet be healthy and happy and still enjoy all the richness God has blessed me with.
We (especially us women) beat ourselves up so much over looks and in the end we’re all the same. We all age. We all go through the same processes if you’re a mother in terms of bodily changes.
We all face challenges. It’s how you respond to the challenges that determines your mindset.
If it’s truly important, you’ll change. If it’s not and you’re happy with where you’re at, then BE HAPPY! Quit comparing yourself to others and be content with who you are.
If you’re not content, then change it.
Life is what you make it. If you want to starve, then do it. If you want to enjoy your friends and go out all the time, do it. If you want to kill yourself with workouts, do it.
It’s your life, your body, your choice. Don’t let others shame you. Don’t feel bad about it. Embrace it.
Life happens, your schedule gets messed up, and your whole day is off?
My whole family has been sick at various times for the last two weeks.
This week has been my son who’s been home all week. He’s got the stomach ache, phlegm build-up, went to the doctor, is constipated, has no appetite, etc.
For me, stress builds at this point. And I usually don’t get stressed.
I did everything I knew how to do to relieve it: CrossFit, Olympic Lifting, Running, Coffee…nothing helped much.
It’s all in the mind, I tell myself. Let it go.
I’m just trying to push through, control the things I can control and let God handle the rest…
As I’m flipping around my front room on my mat, practicing handstand hold and walks, realizing how utterly hard this truly is and wondering why I’m doing this, this thought pops in my head.
I hope my kids find something to obsess over as much as I obsess over CrossFit.
Because ultimately I love it.
I truly, deeply love the challenge of CrossFit, the process of learning a new skill, the hard work involved, and the results afterwards once I learn a new move and improving it. I love how I look. I love being fit. I love being healthy.
Of course, you have all the other things that goes along with my lifestyle: soreness, aches, sprains, etc.
Minor in comparison to what I obtain from CrossFit.
I want each of my kids to find their “something” in this world. They have to find it or life will suck. Majorly.
They may not be able to make a living at it (like me and CrossFit). But they have something which makes their heart sing. Something they cling to despite the hardships life will throw at them. Something that propels them forward no matter what. Something that brings them light when life is full of darkness.
This is my prayer for them. And for you.
Find what makes your heart sing.
THEN DO IT!
Always. Perpetually. No matter what.
Don’t let it die. Don’t surrender it. Don’t let “life” get in the way.
This is What I Wish Someone Would Do to Me Many of My Days
I’m just now finishing up a Nutrition course I’ve taken through WodPrep.com
It was really good information.
However, what I was looking for I didn’t find.
And I did realize through this course that I’ll never find it.
I was looking for a nutrition/meal plan for life. Something I could follow every day without thinking about it that would give me the body I want and allow my body to keep doing what I’ve asked it to do.
This does not exist.
Why?
Because the human body is always changing. Outside factors such as exercise and the intensity causes your needs to change. Hormones will play a huge factor. As will your individual metabolism.
It’s depressing.
To me at least.
I’m the person who plans out everything as much as possible without factoring in the curveballs life throws you continuously.
With all the sacrifices I make on a daily basis (my recent blog post HERE on this), I was hoping not to have to make this sacrifice: the nutrition one. The one where everything has to be controlled and if you deviate too much, you set yourself back days. The guilt you have over the cheesecake drenched in hot fudge sauce (what I had yesterday). Every day starting over and hoping you can avoid your temptations. Battling the fatigue from this fight every day.
However, all this makes sense. I was 33 when I realized I couldn’t eat anything I wanted anymore. And now I’m realizing I have to constantly adjust as well.
Sigh….
The first step in progress is recognizing the issue. This does take a huge burden off of my shoulders as I’ve been struggling with nutrition for a while now.
This thought came to mind as I was re-canting a recent job interview. It was with a very well known national company that embraced the “come as you are” theme. So I thought, “Perfect! I’ll fit in great here!”
My Journey to the CrossFit Games 